Facebook: The Great Equalizer

This morning as I was driving to... (well, not to work, that's for sure) meet my mom at one of her schools, I got to participate in one of the most fascinating employed person's rituals in recorded history: listening to morning radio. 

I generally dislike morning radio talk shows, but there's just something about the Burt Show on Q100 that keeps me so captivated that I can't help but to laugh out loud, roll my eyes, cry a little, and sometimes shout obscenities at the dashboard. This morning's show was no exception. Women were calling in and talking about friends they hang out with on a regular basis whom they are actually terrified of. For example, one woman said if she stops communication with her frightening friend then that friend will tell her husband about the affair she had with a co-worker several years ago. Man, you employed people have all the juicy stories.

Now, to most people, the obvious selling-point of this Burt Show segment is that many women in the Atlanta area are scared of their friends. But, come on--I could have told you that in the sixth grade. But I, a person of the jobless sort, took away something entirely different from my morning show listening experience. Every caller who confessed their deep fear of their friends made the comment:

"I'm even afraid to de-friend her on facebook."

Because God forbid you have the cajones to click the de-friend button.

That's when it hit me. Being employed is exactly the same as being unemployed! You people who sit at your fancy desks in your fancy offices in your fancy suits don't actually work. You spend just as much time as I do stalking your "friends" on the ol' facebook. You're the people who "go offline" on facebook chat so you can use super-stealth while creeping around the 'book. No wonder I've never noticed you before. I'm pretty sure all the employed people in the world have out-smarted the unemployed (what a shock) buy getting paid to sit on facebook all day. 

I salute you desk-sitters across America! Stick it to the man! If anything, the Burt show has given me hope today. When I finally do get a job, I know I won't have to give up the facebook creeping, celebrity gossip reading, twittering lifestyle that I've grown so accustomed to these past few months. 

Thank you Burt Show. Thank you facebook. But most of all, thank you corporate America.