As a professional unemployed person I have become increasingly creative in my response to the question, "So, Jayne, what do you do?" Since I have already admitted that I am bitter about being unemployed, it will be no surprise to you that I have had to work hard at censoring/editing my answer to the most dreadful question in post-grad history. Here are some real life examples of what I would like to say:
- Sit on my ass all day eating bon bons.
- Your mom.
- Catch up on my channel surfing skills.
- Make fun of the malnourished kids on those "Feed the Africans" commercials.
- Reminisce about the days of yore--ie, the 90s.
Even though I do do the majority of the activities listed above, I try to refrain from bombarding unsuspecting "what-do-you-do"-askers with my obvious disdain for all things jobless. I have learned that a safe answer to the ol' WDYD question is an honest, "I graduated college last December and I am still looking for a job. If you know of anything, send it my way."
This somewhat generic, straightforward response did me well for a while. But recently people have been offering a bizarre piece of advice. After the initial furrowed brow, head shake, and puckered bottom lip they hit me with this little number:
"Well, you should enjoy it! You'll have to work for the rest of your life."
Enjoy it? Enjoy being unemployed? Enjoy having no money and on the brink of having to move back home with my parents?! Really people?!? I suppose I should be grateful for their attempts to console me, but come on. Do these people realize how abysmal the life of a 23 year-old, dual degree carrying, unemployed person can be? Sure, I would love to enjoy it. But you see, in order to do enjoyable things you must have some sort of income. Luckily, the weather in Atlanta has been mostly good recently, so free outdoor activities are always available. But who can enjoy free outdoor activities when the butt of their pajama pants has become permanently attached to a couch cushion? Do they realize how difficult it is to separate flannel and leather? I mean, let's be realistic here!
So, to those of you who really think I should enjoy being jobless, by all means, give me some advice on how I can do that. Please. I beg of you.
...
What? No advice? Good. I'll go back to watching reruns of the Real Housewives of New York now. I think this is the episode where Kelly tells Bethenny she doesn't like her, Alex and Simon go shopping for "wearable art", and Luann tells us she's a countess. Ugh. They all run together.
OMG i absolutely know what you are talking about. I too graduated in 2008 and it took until April to get a job and I have NURSING degree. You know the degree that everyone says guarantees you a job, well it will if you want to wait for four months. i too know the frustration of contemplating moving back in with my parents and the delimma of trying to seperate clothing from the couch. my small tip is maybe you could try being a translator in a healthcare facility. i just wanted to let you know you are not alone in your struggle.
ReplyDeleteHey, it's Liz Baker. And yes. to all of that entry. And to comment on Barbara's post above mine, thank god I'm not the only one!! Granted, I've been without a nursing job since I graduated last May... I am currently working in an office I hate, where my friends are my bosses. I was nannying until the mom was laid off... they no longer have a need for a nanny haha. I am applying at hospitals further and further away. Yeah, people and their "oh enjoy it!" advice have obviously never tried to have fun for more than one day without having an income.
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